A very accurate description of the perils of 'showing out', especially in the 80's/90's. I recall going home after work, relaxing on the train when drug addled scroaty bollocks sits down next to me on the seat across the aisle. Coppers immediately know the type and we instinctively expect some sort of grief as a result. Drug addled scroaty bollocks is like a cat on a hot tin roof keeping lookout until low and behold the ticket inspector inconveniently arrived at the end of the carriage. In a pre-emptive strike I leant over the aisle, produced my warrant card to scroaty bollocks and said "Look mate, I'm Old Bill. Ticket inspector is coming. Suggest you fuck off now before we both get dragged into a load of shit neither of us need". Fuck off he did, conveniently exiting at the next stop and I went back to sleep.
A cracking read. Shall avoid an essay. Perfectly sums up those that joined for one thing only - power. Flashing the brief, then learning the hard way that it didn’t make you Batfink.
I was one of those disgusting oiks that used their warrant card as a wallet; but I never lost or misplaced it my entire service; probably due to the fact that my cash & bank card were more important to me. Good times . . .
Why is it always the 'ratboys' who kick off? Some other points however:
You talk about HR, back in the 90's when there was one of the many MPS reorganizations, not sure if it was from 5 to 8 areas but they all blur together now, one of my colleagues came back from a meeting with a recently imported head of HR from the private sector who basically said 'why do you look after injured officers? Get rid of them'. And that is why there was a policy in the 90's that stated if you weren't fit for work you had to be medically retired. This lead to some interesting decisions when officers with minor medical complaints such as dodgy knees which could be fixed with a minor op and physio etc were binned. How much did that cost the MPS?
Does anyone remember one of the wonderful ideas from Policy Exchange dating back to 2011 which said that officers using public transport would be 'forced' to wear uniform to travel to and from work?
Getting involved off duty is rarely worth it, particularly in the current climate. Those of us who joined in the late 70's were strongly warned against it
I too had no option. Sitting in my car with my kids in the back. Watched a scrote walk past a nearby car, then walk back to it and have a gander through the window. Next thing he’s opened the door, reached in and pocketed something. FFS! I was tucked away so I stepped out and approached him fast. He was smaller than me and looked shocked. “Give it to me “ I said, and he produced a mobile phone. Showed him my brief and gave him the good news. Walked him back to the shop where the car owner was and handed her the phone. Luckily my on-duty colleagues turned up reasonably quickly and I claimed a few hours ‘less than 8’. And my kids? They f*cking loved watching their dad nabbing a baddie. They talked about it for hours!
This is so true, no one in their right mind shows out.
I had many incidents over the years but one memorable one was on the way home from officer safety training with my newly acquired ASP tucked safely away in my kit bag.
I was on the tube sat on the seats facing each other the other side of the doors and watched two burly Irish men get on and sit next to a young Chinese boy. He had a piece of paper which they took off him and tore into tiny pieces and blew all over him. He was frightened but they moved seats and then lit up a cigarette, you could hear the gasps from everyone and I stood up and got out my warrant card and told them to put it out as there was no smoking. The one with the cigarette took one last drag which lit the tip up to a glowing red and immediately extinguished it with tips of his fingers, not even licking them first. You could hear the collective gulp as folks reacted to it.
I went to go back to my seat only to find someone sitting in it. So I stood my ground and held on to the pole and my bag. A couple of seconds later the other one pulled out a Swiss Army knife and opened the short blade and turned it round and then made the move as if to cut a throat literally saying out loud” I’ll cut your feckin troat “. That’s when I racked the ASP and said “I don’t think so, put it down and kick it over here.” He did as he was told and making a tactical assessment I put my foot on it and told them to get up and stand by the door. As they moved away from me I picked up the knife and put it in my bag.
We were rapidly approaching Finsbury Park station and I stepped towards them, they stood by the doors and when the train stopped they ran out on the platform and I stepped out. Realising I was on a hiding to nothing I stepped back into the carriage as the doors closed and as we pulled away I watched them start punching one another. There was a vacant seat which I went to and sat down. The lady sat next to me said “I think you were very brave officer” and replied “ No I think I was very stupid” and laughed that nervous laugh when you’ve had a close one. There was a ripple of applause but I knew, as did they, no one would have helped out if needed.
I don’t know how you channel this stuff from years ago but it always gets me remembering. In 1988 I got off the last train to Willesden Tube and showed my brief to the only staff member, safely tucked away in her box. I walked down to the closed gates by mistake and she shouted out “Officer, these two haven’t paid”. I had no choice but to turn round and was pushed into the wall with a knife to my throat. “What are you going to do about it?” I was asked by one of the two. “Whatever you want” was my unimaginative but honest reply. The custody officer wasn’t troubled that night.
Nothing like using your brief to catch the bus home from Brixton academy ( after a few beers) .. to make you realise it would have been much better to buy a ticket.
The Blob... you been reading Dom Cummings stuff on sub? listened to Nigel Farage being interviewed by Nick Robinson on a podcast this morning, sadly and quite without notice I agreed with some of what NF said. I stared into the car mirror and wondered wtf was going on. Anyway he mentions in around about way the blob, quite elegantly and with some intellectual sophistication too should you be interested.
Threw one arse off a train off nights at the NJU. He was spitting and swearing at older lone female tkt insp. Little turd didnt know what hit him. Slammed his arm up his back against train door, opened the same door and ejected the shit onto the platform. Best he could do was get up and run to punch me, sadly for him the door shut and he hit the window. Hopefully he broke his hand. I laughed as he squealed. The tkt insp was very grateful.
One off duty arrest in Oxford, detained shoplifter in Boots assaulting store tec. He was taken to the floor in a home office approved manner, and stayed face down in the gutter as he thearetened to rape my wife, kill my kids and complain about me until TVP Plod arrived. They didnt seem too interested in a statement either. Very odd. I did one and left it with the store tec. When i rang up to book on the DS said 'Ive already done the 232 and i aint changing it" and i replied " Do what you want Im booking on via the reserve then" which i did. DS didnt like that. Plonker.
A very accurate description of the perils of 'showing out', especially in the 80's/90's. I recall going home after work, relaxing on the train when drug addled scroaty bollocks sits down next to me on the seat across the aisle. Coppers immediately know the type and we instinctively expect some sort of grief as a result. Drug addled scroaty bollocks is like a cat on a hot tin roof keeping lookout until low and behold the ticket inspector inconveniently arrived at the end of the carriage. In a pre-emptive strike I leant over the aisle, produced my warrant card to scroaty bollocks and said "Look mate, I'm Old Bill. Ticket inspector is coming. Suggest you fuck off now before we both get dragged into a load of shit neither of us need". Fuck off he did, conveniently exiting at the next stop and I went back to sleep.
Practical policing, mate.
A cracking read. Shall avoid an essay. Perfectly sums up those that joined for one thing only - power. Flashing the brief, then learning the hard way that it didn’t make you Batfink.
I was one of those disgusting oiks that used their warrant card as a wallet; but I never lost or misplaced it my entire service; probably due to the fact that my cash & bank card were more important to me. Good times . . .
Why is it always the 'ratboys' who kick off? Some other points however:
You talk about HR, back in the 90's when there was one of the many MPS reorganizations, not sure if it was from 5 to 8 areas but they all blur together now, one of my colleagues came back from a meeting with a recently imported head of HR from the private sector who basically said 'why do you look after injured officers? Get rid of them'. And that is why there was a policy in the 90's that stated if you weren't fit for work you had to be medically retired. This lead to some interesting decisions when officers with minor medical complaints such as dodgy knees which could be fixed with a minor op and physio etc were binned. How much did that cost the MPS?
Does anyone remember one of the wonderful ideas from Policy Exchange dating back to 2011 which said that officers using public transport would be 'forced' to wear uniform to travel to and from work?
Getting involved off duty is rarely worth it, particularly in the current climate. Those of us who joined in the late 70's were strongly warned against it
I remember the 90s grim reaping of people on restricted duties etc. Some of them were quite chuffed to be 'cast', I recall!
I too had no option. Sitting in my car with my kids in the back. Watched a scrote walk past a nearby car, then walk back to it and have a gander through the window. Next thing he’s opened the door, reached in and pocketed something. FFS! I was tucked away so I stepped out and approached him fast. He was smaller than me and looked shocked. “Give it to me “ I said, and he produced a mobile phone. Showed him my brief and gave him the good news. Walked him back to the shop where the car owner was and handed her the phone. Luckily my on-duty colleagues turned up reasonably quickly and I claimed a few hours ‘less than 8’. And my kids? They f*cking loved watching their dad nabbing a baddie. They talked about it for hours!
This is so true, no one in their right mind shows out.
I had many incidents over the years but one memorable one was on the way home from officer safety training with my newly acquired ASP tucked safely away in my kit bag.
I was on the tube sat on the seats facing each other the other side of the doors and watched two burly Irish men get on and sit next to a young Chinese boy. He had a piece of paper which they took off him and tore into tiny pieces and blew all over him. He was frightened but they moved seats and then lit up a cigarette, you could hear the gasps from everyone and I stood up and got out my warrant card and told them to put it out as there was no smoking. The one with the cigarette took one last drag which lit the tip up to a glowing red and immediately extinguished it with tips of his fingers, not even licking them first. You could hear the collective gulp as folks reacted to it.
I went to go back to my seat only to find someone sitting in it. So I stood my ground and held on to the pole and my bag. A couple of seconds later the other one pulled out a Swiss Army knife and opened the short blade and turned it round and then made the move as if to cut a throat literally saying out loud” I’ll cut your feckin troat “. That’s when I racked the ASP and said “I don’t think so, put it down and kick it over here.” He did as he was told and making a tactical assessment I put my foot on it and told them to get up and stand by the door. As they moved away from me I picked up the knife and put it in my bag.
We were rapidly approaching Finsbury Park station and I stepped towards them, they stood by the doors and when the train stopped they ran out on the platform and I stepped out. Realising I was on a hiding to nothing I stepped back into the carriage as the doors closed and as we pulled away I watched them start punching one another. There was a vacant seat which I went to and sat down. The lady sat next to me said “I think you were very brave officer” and replied “ No I think I was very stupid” and laughed that nervous laugh when you’ve had a close one. There was a ripple of applause but I knew, as did they, no one would have helped out if needed.
I don’t know how you channel this stuff from years ago but it always gets me remembering. In 1988 I got off the last train to Willesden Tube and showed my brief to the only staff member, safely tucked away in her box. I walked down to the closed gates by mistake and she shouted out “Officer, these two haven’t paid”. I had no choice but to turn round and was pushed into the wall with a knife to my throat. “What are you going to do about it?” I was asked by one of the two. “Whatever you want” was my unimaginative but honest reply. The custody officer wasn’t troubled that night.
I don't think people realise how bloody dangerous the practice is.
Nothing like using your brief to catch the bus home from Brixton academy ( after a few beers) .. to make you realise it would have been much better to buy a ticket.
Superb as usual. Spot on! 👍
The Blob... you been reading Dom Cummings stuff on sub? listened to Nigel Farage being interviewed by Nick Robinson on a podcast this morning, sadly and quite without notice I agreed with some of what NF said. I stared into the car mirror and wondered wtf was going on. Anyway he mentions in around about way the blob, quite elegantly and with some intellectual sophistication too should you be interested.
Threw one arse off a train off nights at the NJU. He was spitting and swearing at older lone female tkt insp. Little turd didnt know what hit him. Slammed his arm up his back against train door, opened the same door and ejected the shit onto the platform. Best he could do was get up and run to punch me, sadly for him the door shut and he hit the window. Hopefully he broke his hand. I laughed as he squealed. The tkt insp was very grateful.
One off duty arrest in Oxford, detained shoplifter in Boots assaulting store tec. He was taken to the floor in a home office approved manner, and stayed face down in the gutter as he thearetened to rape my wife, kill my kids and complain about me until TVP Plod arrived. They didnt seem too interested in a statement either. Very odd. I did one and left it with the store tec. When i rang up to book on the DS said 'Ive already done the 232 and i aint changing it" and i replied " Do what you want Im booking on via the reserve then" which i did. DS didnt like that. Plonker.